New Year New Freakin Fail…FAILS

(entering in humbly to live the rest of the year abundantly- P.TANDAL)

Juuuuuuuuuuust GREAT! So ending the year 2018 was awesome. Throughout the entire year the kids maintained great health with little to no sicknesses. UNTIL… the very last week of December it started 1 with a fever and then it just trickled to the very last one (minus my newborn THANK GOD). It was like a 24hr fever bug hit the household. Being a mommy of 8 I don’t have time for sicknesses to last more then 3 days. This might sound harsh but don’t judge me until you hear the entire story.
SO. Once I learn that a child of mine is sick I start asking questions.
– where does it hurt?
– Head or Stomach?
– do you feel like throwing up?
– are you cold or hot?
Can you imagine feeling sick and then someone drilling you and asking you questions after questions. And then when I find whats going on I start to find the remedy for the illness. Basically Dr.Mommy on steroids. A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of crazy. Then as I start the process of what they need to take, how often, water, vitamins, spit it out, cover it up, stay away from your sister, COVER YOUR MOUTH!, wash your hands, take a nap, no you can’t play…. the list goes on.
It might seem extreme to you but this is what I must do in order to not have them sick for days into weeks. I TELL YOU WHAT THO! The next day or the day after their playing and running around.

Now into the New Year feeling like it’s going to be different and fantastic and just down right SPECTACULAR. On the 6th of January my sister and I got T-boned by a young driver that just got off of work. It was our time out. Our time to reflect on our day. Have a favorite drink. See how each others day went. Yet we left that night shook, in pain, cold, shivering and a totaled car.
I thank God so much that we left without broken bones or a bloody head that was bashed into the window. We left grateful. Although I…

I left as tho my soul had been damaged more then my body. My spirit felt broken and hurt by what just happened. You see I got through 2015-2016 fighting stage 4 cancer. 2016-2017 Finding a house, moving our big ‘ohana, buying 2 exotic bullies, then bought another all within a years time. Can you believe — 2017 also brought a new baby of which I didn’t know was going to happen being that my whole cancer treatment was so aggressive. So, New Year New Sept. Baby? ( I don’t think that’s how it goes)

2018 brought an amazing first year of being officially a licensed business (Make Mahalo) at the Puyallup Farmer’s Market — A 1 year old baby luau along with a surprise “YOUR PREGNANT”…yes, again…pregnant with a baby girl (my 7th is a baby boy) totaling 8 children all together. YES 8!

Isn’t that too much? No. I don’t think so. Can it be overwhelming? Yes. Totally. Life alone can be too much or overwhelming. So, my optimistic side of course felt (still feel) like 2019 was, is just going to be amazing crazy, SPECTACULAR! Also, I sent out the word that i’m starting back at Zumba, with my first class on January 8th (the accident happened on the 6th)

…SO… to be in an accident… kind of blew me away and perhaps broke that rainbow unicorn kind of joy optimism I always have. Yet still, when my AuntyMom came with my mom to come and pick my sister and I up at the accident, she asked how I was doing.
My first reaction, my first response was not what a normal person would say. “I’ve gone through worse Aunty, you know”. Yet I think I was in denial of my true feelings of wanting to say F-‘IN FREAK YOU FREAKIN FREAK! (wow nelly, calm down Patience LOL) Who was I talking to? Guarantee you not to God. I know my place with ke Akua (God) and I will not test him in anyway. (He’s the only consistent one in my life).

(i like to do a lot of these ( ) things don’t I lol)

All this to say New Year New Freakin Fail… FAILS… but somehow, me being me, i’m coming through it with a SPECTACULAR insight that I can only feel
LOVED – I have all my ‘ohana around to support me

BLESSED – because through stage 4 cancer, 2 babies afterward and a car accident, I am ALIVE! LIVING! IN LOVE! AND thanking my angel for taking the brunt of the wreck because the guy literally could’ve killed me. (writing this part is making me tear right now. I’M ALIVE! MY GOD I’M ALIVE!)

GRATEFUL – that we (my sister and I) were referred (by VernitaPortor.wordpress.com) to a great chiropractor who also sent me to massage therapy. (R.I.P. to a very great car that took Ho’omālamalama.com and I to many a great places.)

SO! To the bad juju juices that someone, something is sending out. Lookout, be careful, watch your step, I’M A DAUGHTER OF THE KING! I will not be toy’d with. My spirit may have been a little broken but restoration comes along with my RAINBOW UNICORN sassy spunky you can kiss my Mutha F’in fat (for now) big a$$ ATTITUDE!!!

If your year is not starting the way you wanted it to. Let’s go through the process, cry a little, pout a little, bash a big fat Conan the Bavarian donut down your throat and let’s MOVE ON. (YES! that’s a real donut from Legendary Doughnuts)

MAHALO FOR YOUR TIME xoxo

MuthaFreakah…here we go AGAIN! Happy February.

Long journey ahead…you up for the ride?

This road i’ve been on has been one long azz muthafreakah. It’s getting longer as time goes by. It’s like tax time coming around and someone set up an automatic extension and the reward of my tax return keeps getting further from me spending it. This has been my health journey for the past 4 years. I’m fed up of it. Tired of this kakamimi bull! Basically i’m not content being chubby bunny. Which is a good thing. I don’t want to be a 2 car garage that used to hold beautiful cars in it (cars being the 8 kids I had) which now it’s just an empty garage holding on to the unnecessary boxes and travel luggage that are filled with decades of insecurities.

Freakin tired already… It seems so far to get to. My goal. My dreams of being me again. The tight fitted curvy voluptuous exotic hawaiian tahitian filipino woman. The dreams of being that again seems unattainable because my history of having 6 children (naturally), stage 4 cancer and an aggressive chemotherapy treatment (now in remission since April 2016!), 2 children afterward. I might always say this but you have to understand my life gives no room for dream time. The only me time is if I wakey wakey at 4am when i’ve just went to bed at 12am and still have to do a baby feeding at 530am and because i’m a homeschool educator, that’s the rest of my 7 to wake at 7am.

I realize there are other burdens to worry about. Like having only 1 income (not mentioning my personal side hustles) 1 INCOME for an ‘ohana of 10! Bills, bills, schedules, school, dogs, dance classes, being involved in a non-profit, husbands job cutting hours! I mean focus my attention elsewhere instead of being selfish (for once).

I look in the mirror and feel as if someone switched out my mirror for those crazy ones in the carnival. I’m so grateful for my life. My miracle story is unreal! Does it mean I have to be content though? Everyday I find this obese overweight, skin no longer smooth and soft and clear but ridges and ripples and scars and stretch marked 2 belly woman. I have a lower and upper region. Kind of like I have 2 continents. (go ahead and laugh, I did)
Or it’s like I have my own magic act where my skin hangover can magically disappear and reappear things in seconds. MAGIC!

Stuck in this horrible magic act where I went into the black hat as Jessica Rabbit and say the magic words… KAKAMIMI BULL… i’m a Chubby Bunny stuck in the hat… 😦 (i’ll try not to LOL too much with you because once I start to wiggle everything starts to jiggle uncontrollably) Not to mention that my body takes a lot longer to heal from anything.

So…
how do I get passed my PAST of being fantastic
let go of my present of being Chubby Bunny
then embrace the future of being happy, healthy and content…

So the things i’m going to START~STOP~CONTINUE
START- positive thinking, reading, cardio, water, lemon juice, good snacks, outdoor adventures, (sexy) self-talk, positive mirror talk, treadmill, massage therapy, being patient
STOP- complaining, excuses, judgment, name calling (myself) chubby bunny 😀 , past body memories, lattes made with vanilla sweet cream, anxiety, being in a rush, STINKING THINKING,
CONTINUE- Zumba, vitamins, supplements, ‘ohana activities.

Cheers to all you MuthaFreakahs out there trying to take control and care of family, home while not being content with your inwardly/outwardly wellness. SOULJAH ON! Don’t drop your sexy ways. No need to think that you have to live through you children. You can have that figure you want. It might take time but we are the MuthaFreakahs that run our world so let’s make the time. If you want to souljah on with me then let’s connect on instagram @patiencetandal_progresspage

SOULJAH ON MUTHA’FREAKAH, SOULJAH ON

I was an Addict…

(It’s crazy how the ones that are called friends or family, are the very ones that can make or break your future.)

Growing up, you could say I was spoiled, I say loved, some say sheltered or even harbored. Which i’m pretty sure made many jelly or envious of me.
So, behind my parents back people would shame me. Speak negative whispers in my ear. Try to taint my innocence of it’s purity. Some of those words would injure me and some would not. The cloud of their ugliness was always looming over me regardless of whether I would take them in or not.

Flash forward to today. When I get to my most lowest of lows is when those words would start to pop up again. Why?… In my most insecure time is when these thoughts decide to surface and play on my emotions bringing me further into despair.
The body shaming blast gets played like a karaoke singer that I can’t unsee or unhear and I can’t turn away from.

Ugly. Fat. Short. Older. Waste. Judging and judging and comparing my life with the life of others. The list can go on forever. But then something happens and I get out of my despair/depression. Life goes on. But then something happens again and i’m back to the self doubt and body shaming talk. Then again, something great happens and i’m out living my best life. Happy. Vibrant. Passionate about living…then…suddenly… $h*t hits the fan and then…dark clouds form. And each time it does it seems like the cloud gets bigger and bigger. This has been going on for many a years to the point it no longer has to do with anyone but me, myself and I.

You see, I am grown now. I make my own choices now. I decide for myself to either carry on the charades of BODY SHAMING and feeding into my addiction of being a victim of childhood bullying…OR… I could choose to feed my brain and heart with something that will actually help me live my best life.

I realize that I had been addicted to the shame. Addicted to the depression and the crying and the self torture. The shaming of myself where it was no longer the words of others but my own. I became addicted the make-up and recovery. Buying me something so I could feel better. A roller coaster ride that I had created because I am an adult now. I create my own path now. I am no longer around these people that had bullied me because of their own insecurities, jealousy.

Present day. 1 husband, 8 children, 2 dogs later I see the addiction that was created by others and carried on by me. No longer.
I have become a testimony of my own business, the Make Mahalo Lifestyle. Planning with intention. I am receiving only positivity and sharing aloha. I am teaching soulful deep gratitude which is the Make Mahalo way of thinking and being. I am excited to know that if I slip, I will recover quicker and become stronger.

Mahalo…❤︎

P*$$Y in it’s place…CHECK✓

(random-ish)

Never have I ever…
Read a book from front cover all the way thru to the back of the book…

By the title you might be curious of what i’m going to be writing about for this lovely November 1st. Either that or you might be offended…or…many other things that could be going thru your mind. Before you read on, comment below and let me know what your first thoughts were just by reading the title. I’m curious ;D

Growing up i’ve heard the expression “don’t be a pussy” thrown around by boys/girls, men/women. The expression to me and the way it was always said was meant to be lesser then. To be weak. To be anything but great! I’ve never used it before because I never liked the word… except once. And the one time I did decide to use it I got put in place. Well actually I and my pussy got put in place (insert emoji big eyes and awkward smile) lol

When I was going through my chemotherapy treatment I started to feel week. It was like my 2nd session. I was talking with one of the head nurses there and she had asked me how I was doing. I told her I feel like a “pussy” for crying when receiving my first dosage of chemo. Why I thought or felt the need to say that I have no idea. It just came out. I was feeling weak and for some reason, out of all the times I could have used it but never did, it came out in that moment. (foolish me)

Then the way she looked at me was as if I murdered someone and just confessed. She looked at me with a very stern and hard look on her face as she proceeded to say “don’t you ever  use that word in that way again unless you were using it to express how strong you are.” She put everything into perspective for me. A very well deserved slap in my face. She then started to explain how every part of a women’s body was made in such an extraordinary way to with stand many challenging situations that only a women can handle. Then to say “That part that you speak of. Is the most strongest of them all. So if your going to use that word, you make sure it’s because your talking about the strength of yourself or someone else and not the opposite.”

Why? Why have I never looked at it that way? Why have I never thought for myself on this matter? Instead I let another persons view or words define what that word meant to me. The pussy was put in it’s place and I have seen the light! HALLELUJAH! It’s crazy how you grow up with other peoples ideas and views put upon you as a child and then as you grow up and become educated or even more opened and less ignorant you find your thoughts are no longer yours but that of someone else’s. Then your start to develop your own.

This might be a bunch of ramble random-ish stuff, i know. This time of season I seem to constantly get flash backs of the 3 years past. This is when everything started happening. When it seemed my life went to heaven then earth then hell then heaven then back again to earth. A scheduled routine DNC surgery that turned into an outer body death experience to HEY this is the tenth floor oncology level and YOU KNOW IT’S STAGE 4 CANCER RIGHT to 5 types of chemo, 7 dosages and a very colorful buffet of all you can eat, take and shoot-up MED’s!

Make Mahalo and Make Mahalo Planners were created from a soulful deep appreciation  for life and the need to Plan, Create, Journal, Scratch, Scribble, Doodle and Vent my way to Forward Positivity.
SO, today I leave you with thoughts of “Where is your pussy at (LOL) or your view of it?”  Big MAHALO for even being here on this earth with me. The world is a better place when the pussy’s in it’s proper place. (in her castle, on her thrown, topped with a crown on her head, next to her King, raising an Empire.) ☜ Well that’s just me 😉 MAHALO

Feeling It…again❤︎

(random -ish)

Giving birth to my 8th baby is so CRAAAAAAzEEEE!!! Just saying it got me in awe of myself. HA! Saying I wanted kids when I was a kid is one thing. I was one of those kids that loved playing with my cousins or friends or those that were younger then me. I had no problem playing well with others. I was the perfect babysitter. Now, I find myself being a forever babysitter to my kids. LOL
But never had I imagined I would have 8…8! come out my vahJJ (insert crazy lol). I can’t help but have so many mixed feelings about the whole situation.

I’m in love. In awe. Overwhelmed. Happy. Stressed. Grateful. Crazy-ish. On top of postpartum creeping up on me brings a whole other kind of feelings.
With my last baby I didn’t even realize I was deep into depression till I was throwing myself on my bed crying about everything and nothing. My response to my ‘ohana when they would ask how i’m doing was always the same. “Good, everythings fine”.
How do you even say your not yourself, that your sad, that your depressed and that your curling up in a fetal position crying your face off and wondering whats wrong with me…

Flash forward to today and wanting to prevent as much of that as I can. Mind you I still feel like i’m recovering from cancer and chemo even tho it’s been about 2 years since. Which I have to still be reminded by my sister about what I went thru. ( i’m not the type that likes to stay in victim mode ) I’m very competitive with myself and like to push my limits and when i’m not hitting goals like I want to I get hard and judgmental on myself.

All this update just to say that i’m feeling myself again. Music is what’s doing it for me. I want to start working out again, dancing again, vlogging again, blogging again, selfie-ing again, all of it again! I want it all on top of building my business on top of raising 8 children. Hmmm… I think when postpartum depression hits (my own opinion) I as a mommy lose my self worth. I don’t just want to be a mommy. That’s not the only reason why i’m here. It’s important but I don’t feel like that should be my only reason for living.  But day to day to day to day it’s the same thing over and over again. Wake and take care of the kids. I lose my own purpose then that ugly depression hits and I lose focus.

I don’t know whats going to happen these next couple of days but at the moment i’m feelin myself. This isn’t even an update. I don’t even know what this is. Maybe my own personal journal/blog that I just wanted to get out. What I do know is that I have to be proactive about my intentions. My business is all about Planning with Intention. With such a busy life it’s hard to find balance especially with so so SO many things going on. So here it is. My own list of things that I want to do.

⬇︎2018-2019 INTENTIONS⬇︎

*prayer,plan,patience *workout *mirror talk *Burst before Breakfast *blog *vlog *every3 *mindmapping *ZumbaClasses *OwnChoreo *FitFoodie Meal Planning *Inventory on hand *Online Shop *New Product *’Ohana Travels *Friend Meetups *Playdates *Farmer’s Market *Product Reviews *MakeMahalo Classes *Keiki Classes *Hawaiian *Tahitian

A forever growing list. If your a bit curious about one of these go ahead and ask what it’s about. Mahalo for your time ❤︎

Cheeky Little Dumplings

Din Tai Fung, Seattle, WA

Oh what a Mother’s Day I had! Still dreaming about the food I ate there. Still enjoying the memories made at Owen’s Beach. Most of all I can’t stop thinking about the food! My sister and I and our family’s met at the beach where we grilled, dug holes and watched the tide slowly come in. Time well spent with the ‘ohana. It’s amazing tho that when a day celebrates Mother’s, it sometimes feels like we’re still working… Why is that?

My sister and I dropped the family off and met up to take a nice drive (into unnecessary traffic) up to University Village, Seattle for a treat at one of our favorite sweet shops. Trophy Cupcakes. We did not know that the 4-5 lane highway would turn into 1-2 lanes. We made it to Trophy’s at exactly 8:00pm… when they closed. (insert a very sad hungry face here)

Luckily our Mother’s Day trip did not turn into a flop! It ended with a most delicious, amazing experience at Din Tai Fung Dumpling House!!!

Because we were already late in the evening our wait time was 10-15 min. Usually it can be a 2 hr wait. One of things I like about this restaurant is the menu is filled with pictures and then you get a ticket to jot down what you want. The waiters are super nice and none judgmental. In the middle of our meal our waiter was switched with another who was just as hospitable as our first. *Vegan and Gluten Free options available

The Shao Mai was delicious to bite into. A bit of soup broth was at the bottom of the dumpling. I had to add a bit of spice to it just because.

These spicy dumplings were extremely delicious!!! I could not get enough of the sauce! I started putting it on everything. Oh My Goodness!

The pork buns were good but needed flavor so I added the sauce from the spicy shrimp dumplings which made it turn into a “yaaaasssssss honey” moment. (i’m telling you that sauce is the stuff!)

Unfortunately I forgot to take a pic of the spare ribs, spicy braised beef that was “oh my gawd this is good” soup and taro buns for dessert. We made sure to have jasmine tea for the in-between breaks. Overall we truly enjoyed the food, waiters and of course each others company. It is a very loud place so intimate conversation might be lost in translation. Other then that a most recommended place to visit. Din Tai Fung has 4 locations in Washington and 6 locations in California.